Τρίτη, 25 Μαρτίου 2014

The woman in me

I know this may sound unbelievably gay (on my straight "arhidia" as I would say in Greece) but as a youngster in high school, I often used to watch the other boys feeling up the girls as they made their way into class and wondered... a) what were the bums thinking about, and b) why did the girls put up with it...

I always believed women to be worthy of respect and correct polite behavior, something no doubt to do with how I was brought up... yet the fact that this made it extremely difficult for me to acquire a girlfriend, never rang enough bells or turned me into the cynical misogynist that some of my mates turned into to...

I spent a fair part of my teens battling with the label of "gay", a label that many "well-meaning" macho men and future speed-freaks and petty criminals took upon themselves to lumber me with. Their assumption was probably based on the fact I had friends I held conversations with, rather than spend my time doing wheelies and talking about women and sex in a demeaning way while leering after every female that passed... Then again it may also have had something to do with my  hairstyles (I had highlights and braids at some point during the eighties...) or a tendency to wear scarves with tresses and various bracelets (I went through a hippy phase too) It was the Eighties for god's sake!! (although I wanted it to be the sixties...) Anyway it never bothered me too much as I knew which way my preferences went...

The next ordeal I had to go through was the army. You don't get a choice of who you are stationed with There I had to go through listening to men talk about women again in a derogatory way. A classic joke about this kind of man, is that every woman is a whore except for his mother and sister...I got through this without changing my attitude, although there were times when I had to grunt an implied approval in order to conform with the norm and not make myself a target... thus feeling like my namesake saint, who denied all contact and knowledge before the rooster crowed... (Matthew 26:34)

I'll risk another wrong impression and state, that I often felt in touch with the woman in me.
I do believe that in every person there is a little of both elements, the male and the female, if anything it helps explain some of the things we see around us!

What does this mean practically though?

It means I like to cook, and also to take care of people, my friends, my children.

It means I don't see sex as a god given right of mine, but as a higher expression of love and affection.
It means I am an incurable romantic.
It also means I have no hope of becoming a speed freak (the Greek word is Kangouras, meaning the guys in souped up vehicles roaring about all over the place, in utter disregard for rules and regulations of even basic polite behavior). I will also very rarely watch a game of football (unless it is with the right company..they know who they are...)
I won't hunt, I don't like guns, I often cry through sad scenes in films, and I have never lit a fart.. (and never will)
It meant that I would hold a baby in my arms at 12 and think "One day I will become a father and hold a baby of my own"
It meant that when I finally did at 25, I would often bottle-feed her and change her nappies happily, bonding as early as possible...

It means I feel totally comfortable to ask a woman if she breastfeeds, without fearing misunderstanding, and even being able to offer advice which I learned from my wife.

I like to believe that the contact with my "female" side makes me a better Man, but I won't go too far with talking about myself, maybe the women in my life should comment.

I love women. there is nothing like the arms of a woman to take all your troubles away, nothing like the love of a woman to cure every wound (and nothing like her whinging, but I'll leave that for another post...)
Nothing like the way a woman blooms and becomes beautiful when about to become a mother...

Muddy Waters said it all when he said:

"A big black mama is gonna carry me to my grave..."

John Lennon once said: "Woman is the nigger of the world"...he wasn't far from wrong.

 Tom Robbins says that once upon a time, thousands of years ago, women ruled the world. Then men took the power and things went to hell..

I know what you are going to say.... Margaret Thatcher, Imelda Marcos and others.. Well, allow me to say they were overly in touch with the man in them...

This post went up (in greek) on the 24th of April 2012, almost 2 years ago. Someone, a reader of mine commented that he felt exactly the same way, and also offered another little tom Robbins gem. He said "I would like aliens to come to earth and take away all the balls. Footballs, basket ball, rugby balls...to see if men would become evolve to a higher species". My friends comment was the beginning of a strong friendship. His is an amazingly analytic mind, with a wonderful way of thinking, which I admire greatly!

As I translated my post in order to put it in my English speaking blog, I confess to not feeling as "comfortable" with it as I did initially. To my now "two-years-older" eyes it seems a little naive. Yet it was very heartfelt and honest when originally written. I haven't changed my mind, no, but certainly my view has changed.

I have been reading a lot, I am experiencing new things, a new relationship, a new view on past relationships... also Therapy.

Increasingly I understand that we as people, as personalities, are defined by our relationships. It is almost as if without them we could not exist. How could we be defined if not within the loose boundaries set up by the interaction and view of others? And look at how people who avoid proximity with others are often troubled..

What is colour? Only the wavelengths of light reflected by certain materials as viewed by our eyes. And so it is with us. We are the "colour" that  is reflected to others through our relationships.

Just a few thoughts...

Right now I'm feeling kind of flowery and bright on the inside... I must be in love... (smile)

Have a good morning all!

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